darkness come, engulf.

i'm so sick of going to school.
so sick of studying,
of learning things i'm going to empty out soon anyway.
of being in charge of a thankless CCA,
of being in positions where i feel so out-of-place and so un-myself.
which is laughable,
since i put myself into that position in the first place.

sometimes i feel like just sleeping my life away,
like some sloth,
and should i sin the sin of sloth,
so be it,
because at least i'm not disturbed or troubled by anything else.

sometimes i just feel like whacking some sense into people,
when i should be whacking some sense into myself.

why do i do what i do,
and ask others to do what i don't?

so uncomfortable with what's going on around me,
where even my studies flip over and drown me.

god let it be done,
what is, what will and what is to come.

sound like some angsty teenager i,
perhaps because i am,
or i'm just drowning in self-pity.

disgusting.