a strange it is, our minds.

i don't like the way we play with our minds.
the way we can manipulate each other with a few well placed words and expressions.
i don't like the way some people so easily fall for some poor 'pity me' slogan because they're too kind for their own good.

so, in a way,
should i hate myself?

i may not go around with a woe is me story,
but sometimes...
should what is left unsaid be left to crash and burn?

how easy it is to manipulate our words,
to change the meaning of the entire sentence
simply by changing our tone,
our emphasizing on a particular word,
or whatever.

i hate it because it makes me ill to trust,
because you never know what someone is really meaning.
alas, word play isn't as sophisticated as it looks.
its merely a bollocks blow up of something much more carnal.
at times anyway.

i've been awed at for my supposed linguistic powress,
for my linguistic intellect,
and what not...
but really, it just kinda sucks at times
when people stop realising that you're only human.

i wonder why i have this issue with compassion,
that continually gnaws at my hardened soul.
can't i let her in again,
even if she has left?
or do i not want her to?
do i just wish her to the wind,
and the willows will do my work for me?

i wish i knew what it means to really love someone.
does it mean you throw aside whatever you're doing when the person calls for you?
does it mean you give little regard to your welfare in comparison to the other?
my exams are important, this i know i know i know.
so what do i do when my attention is called and i don't give it?
is it my wrong?

i can't ask for everyone to be as emotionally independent,
as emotionally sure as i am.
ignoring the times when i've been not.
but really,
is a friend still a friend that loves you,
if she can't give you her time when she's really busy,
or are you not her friend if you do not understand this?

this gnaws at me,
so very much.

it makes me feel so...uncaring.

can you just stop it already?