in the grip of grace.

it feels good to be on top of things again,
at least spiritually anyway.
my school work is literally going down the drain.
but that's another matter.

being spiritually alright has its advantages.
for instance, even if you do get left out,
you realise that it doesn't really matter,
because you have peace,
which a lot of people don't.

being spiritually well,
you realise that you work better a whole lot.
you don't fuss over the little things,
and you sleep well.

so God,
won't you just smack me in the head
when i start to kick up a fuss again?

and i really want to attain the gift of intercession,
because i know that prayers are powerful,
yet my attention span when i pray is so lacking.

and i'm evaluating the unity of the group i'm in.
are we really all that united?
what does it mean to be united?
how do we know we're united in spirit,
when we all seem to favour different working models?

perhaps its a question that i'll ponder,
think,
evaluate.
hmm.

i'm on duty today.
give me strength to face the things i rather wouldn't.
and i still hope i won't be facing them today.

is it the leader's fault,
or the member,
if the member decides to leave?
when has the shepherd done enough?
i guess sometimes its a split decision,
because at times,
when the shepherd refuses to understand the sheep,
and still continues to exert pressure on the sheep,
you can't quite blame the sheep for not being able to stand up to it.
afterall, the shepherd is supposed to nature,
and be the rock for the sheep when needed.
so where can you go when your 'rock' of sorts refuses to accept you?
jesus is our rock, granted,
yet sometimes, its our physical spiritual mentors that make or break us too.

so i thank god that on a whole,
i've had great shepherds. :)