qt w/o jonah

just read a sad sad story.
its really easy to forget the sacrifice jesus made for us isn't it?
its so easy to get angry about petty things,
and words that are carelessly thrown about...

God, i don't want that kind of heart in me.
i want a heart that will appreciate every breath you put into each and every living thing,
perhaps with the exception of icky bugs.
i want a heart that forgives,
that loves to the utmost,
that loves you to the utmost,
that is pure above all else.

i keep wanting a pure heart,
but what have i done to attain one?

so many things i want God,
but what do i really need?

as i get a job soon,
i pray for my heart.
oh my heart, how deceitful it is.
i pray that i will work to glorify your name,
and that i'll tithe a proper tithe to your kingdom.
because indeed,
the more you have,
the less you give.
let me learn how to give please,
because i want to be a blessing to others
as i know i can be
and to be blessed so much by you
that i will have to bless others again. :)

what do i have to pray to get jeslyn back God?
to strengthen my bond with xiuhui?
to unite the caregroup?
to encourage the guys?

i see a group that has so much potential God
yet is so broken because of a lack of unity
which is ironic
considering the camp we just had recently.
is it really true we can't get along
because we're too different?
i don't believe its really true,
or is it only because i'm myself,
and i have such a vast pool of interests that i can get along with so many others?

what is true, God?
and what answers do i need?
please, let me open my heart
and continually ask for your answers to drop in.