show me the way. jonah 3 Msg.

been a long time since i last flipped to jonah.
when one isn't in the mood,
one must set her mind to get into the mood.

note to self: ask a leader questions and doubts about jonah.

i want to pray, not just more,
but more in the special language of god.
i want to become more sensitive to the spirit,
more in tune with the good and holy forces around me.
god knows i need to be,
so that i won't falter every so often.
i want to really see a distinct line leading to where God has sent me to.
am i to go to a singapore university, or an overseas one?
what sort of burden has been placed in my heart,
what sort of yearning?

my decision to go somewhere has so many implications.
if i were to stay in singapore,
i would have to face a change in ministry from where i am now to where i should be.
if i were to go overseas,
all this thinking and deciding would be declared redundant because i wouldn't be around much anyway.

so God, where should i go?
i'm trying to find your way by finding out more about what i want to do in life, when i graduate and come out to take the world on.
i've decided God,
to follow my passion, my desires,
because something that ignites in me a fire
and that feels like it was meant to be
cannot be something you haven't put in my heart.
and i see the many ways i can glorify you through
what i can do God.

if i go into broadcast journalism,
i can become more widely known,
and from there use my influence to extend your influence.
if i go into advertising,
i can try to infuse biblical elements into what i do.
if i could ever go into interior designing,
i can do the insides of prayer rooms and chapels and places where the godly can entertain the ungodly.

so many exciting things to do!
only one life. :(

this gives me a great idea!
for this week's service,
i pray that you'll speak to us about something like this God,
of living our lives for you,
of living our lives to the FULLEST for you.
so that in the coming cg week,
i can dare them to dream the amazing things they can do without limitations,
without burdens, without considering what if what if.
i pray that this will open up to them a new door to serve you through - their future jobs.
its going to be so amazing to push hard at what i do now,
because i know the glory i can accomplish in the future.
is that dizzifying or WHAT?

anyway..................about JONAH.
interesting how intricately it links to what i read in 'mere christianity' today.
i must really understand what it means to have FREE WILL.
i wonder,
if i knew what God would be doing to me as a form of punishment,
would i repent as quickly as the people of Nineveh did?
why must i even wait for a scary punishment to come out of the mouth of God before i even do so?
questions i wonder why i even ask in the first place.

ANYHOW.
i want to pray for jeslyn and xh.
please God, my eyes can't seek them out all the time,
but i know yours can.
i'm trying to connect them back to you,
and to myself as well God.
let me be faithful in using the notebooks to reach out to them.
i pray for jeslyn.
thank you so much for putting that other j1 girl into our lives.
i pray we'll retain her and grow her strong,
and that her retention will edify jeslyn as well!
and for xh,
i don't know what's going on in her life now,
but i do know i wish her to be out of the world's way and that she grows well without first stampeding over many other flowers.

i should pray for joyce too.
there's something wrong with her spiritually God,
i feel.
she doesn't know it,
neither do i,
but its a weird feeling,
perhaps birthed out of tiredness,
of routine?
but i pray you protect her lord,
and speedily bring someone into her life need she need a person to lean on.