am i a servant at heart?

GAP, day 34.

i can't stand the fact that this GAP thing is making me reflect and evaluate myself so much.

i know that its good, but its never easy to turn yourself inside out and admit that yes, even though you've known God for so long, even though you're a shepherd of two, even though you've been a CL before, even though others look up to you; you're a sinner through and through and that you still have stupid struggles to face, insecurities to conquer.

sometimes yes, i compare myself to others, feeling good if they fall less than me, and feeling bad when i can't measure up to them.

Servants think about their work, not what others are doing.
i must learn to focus on one goal, one cause, and that what i do is for God.
praise God if it helps the people around me to grow, but even if what i do is not noticed by others, i shouldn't let it affect me so much.

i have this issue with humility.
i'm going to face it head on.
i'm nothing, yet i'm everything because God is with me.
i came out naked, and naked i will go.
JESUS, COME AND TELL ME THE TRUTH ABOUT HOW LOUSY I REALLY AM AND THAT ALL I AM NOW IS BY YOUR GRACE.

and with that,
amen. :)