those shades of grey.

perhaps its better not to have everything in simple black and white,
because i know i don't want everything to be in black and white.
it makes my mistakes stand out way too much,
it makes me hesistant about my each and every move,
it makes my life a struggle, and not a life.

i wish i could just sit back and watch life sort itself out before me,
but i can't,
because i've been put here,
right here, right now,
to do what i can do,
and i shall
to what i can to help.

i'm starting to believe that i've been called to help,
to instill in others what they do not realise about themselves,
to tell them verbally what they would otherwise ignore,
to shake them to reality.
yet at times, i don't want to,
because its not nice at times,
when you realise,
there's no one to do for you,
what you do for others.

but its alright,
because i have a god who will fill that need.